COMMUNICATION AND YOUR NEWBORN

Do you remember your baby's very first cry? From the moment of birth, your baby began to communicate. At first, your newborn's cries may seem like a foreign language to you. But before you know it, you will learn your baby's "language" and be able to provide him with what he needs.

Right after birth, you introduced your baby to your own ways of communicating: touching, soothing, holding and making facial gestures. Your baby will learn your "language," just as you will learn his.

How does my baby communicate?

Your baby is born with the ability to cry, which is how he will do most of his communicating for a while. Your baby's cries generally tell you that something is wrong in his world: his belly is empty, his bottom is wet, his feet are cold, he's tired, he needs to be held and cuddled. Soon you will be able to recognize which need your baby is expressing and respond accordingly. In fact, sometimes what a baby needs can be identified by his cry - for example, the "I'm hungry" cry may be short and low-pitched, while "I'm upset" may sound choppy.

Your baby may also cry when he is overwhelmed by all of the sights and sounds of the world. Sometimes he may cry for no apparent reason at all. Don't be too upset when your baby cries and you aren't able to console him immediately: crying is one of his ways of shutting out stimuli when he's overloaded.

Crying is your baby's main method of communication, but he is also capable of other, more subtle forms. Learning to recognize them is exciting and rewarding and can strengthen your bond with your baby.

A newborn can differentiate between the sound of a human voice and other sounds. Try to pay attention to how he responds to your voice. He already associates your voice with care: food, warmth, touch. If he's crying in his bassinet, see how quickly your approaching voice quiets him. See how closely he listens when you are talking to him in loving tones. He may not yet coordinate looking and listening, but even if he stares into the distance, he'll be paying close attention to your voice as you speak. He may subtly adjust his body position or facial expression, or even move his arms and legs in time with your speech.

Sometime during your newborn's first month, you may get a glimpse of his first smile and perhaps hear his first laugh or giggle. What welcome additions these are to his communication repertoire!

What should I do?

As soon as you hold your baby after birth, you will begin to communicate with each other by exchanging your first glances, sounds, and touches. Your newborn is already learning about the world through his senses.

As the days after birth pass, your newborn will become accustomed to seeing you and will begin to focus on your face. His senses of touch and hearing are especially important, though. Your infant will be curious about noises he hears, but none more so than the spoken voice. Talk to your baby whenever you have the chance. Even though he doesn't understand what you're saying, your calm, reassuring voice is what he needs to feel safe. With almost every touch your newborn is learning about life, so provide him with lots of tender kisses, and he'll find the world a soothing place to be.

Communicating with a newborn is really a matter of meeting his needs. Always respond to your newborn's cries - he cannot be spoiled with too much attention. Your prompt response when your baby communicates will let him know that he's important and worthy of attention.

There will probably be times when you have met all of your baby's needs, yet he continues to cry. Don't despair - your baby may be overly stimulated, have gastric distress, or may have too much energy and need a good cry. It is common for babies to have a fussy period at the same time every night, generally between early evening and midnight. This can be very upsetting, but the good news is that it's short-lived; most babies outgrow it around three months. There are some things you can try to soothe your baby. Some babies are comforted by motion, such as rocking or being walked back and forth across the room, while others respond to sounds, like soft music or the hum of a vacuum cleaner. It may take some time to find out what best comforts your baby during these stressful periods.

Should I be concerned?

You may want to talk to your doctor if your baby seems to cry for an unusual length of time, if the cries sound odd to you, or if the crying is associated with decreased activity, poor feeding, or unusual breathing or movements. Your doctor will be able to reassure you or look for a medical reason for your baby's distress. Chances are there is nothing wrong, and knowing this can help you relax and stay calm when your baby is upset.

Here are some other reasons for prolonged crying:

The baby is ill. A baby who cries more when being held or rocked may be sick. Call your doctor.
The baby has an eye irritation. A scratched cornea or "foreign body" in a baby's eye can cause redness and tearing. Call your doctor.
The baby is in pain. An open diaper pin or other object could be hurting the baby's skin. Take a close look everywhere.
If you have any questions about your newborn's ability to see or hear, you should bring them to your doctor's attention immediately. Even newborns can be tested using sophisticated equipment, if necessary. The sooner a potential problem is caught, the better it can be treated.